Strictly come politicking – a new coalition guaranteed to bring success

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From Chris Fairbairn.

I REFER to an article in your edition of 21 January which made a worrying statement: ‘Morris men recruit to fend off extinction’.

This poses the question, well in my colourful mind at least: ‘What have the Jersey Democratic Alliance and the Helier Morris Men got in common?

Would it be fair to say that the Morris Men would be the more appealing organisation to join of the two?

Nevertheless, my deep understanding of party political issues combined with my wish to help two Island institutions made my vacant winter- reddened mind restart with a vigour that I hadn’t witnessed since I hatched a plan to save rocket man Terry MacDonald.

My thinking process, now at full speed, produced a plan that could place the JDA and its leader – Deputy Geoff Southern – into a strong, defiant and possibly more colourful position, increasing its standing to push through its policies. I’m not sure what the Morris men would get out of it, but let us worry about that later.

Now, are you ready for my plan? Why doesn’t the JDA join the Helier Morris Men?

With waning support for both groups, there surely must be a good argument for this union. I can see Geoff and his gang (especially Shona and Trevor) in their bells, flowery hats and sticks dancing to a new tune, and possibly bringing a new energy to both groups.

This is my political masterplan for 2009, designed to change the way we think and, moreover, see our politicians. So let us support them.

I’m just a bit worried that the whole thing could get a little out of control, especially if they decided to wear their togs on a Tuesday and do a little dance in the Royal Square before the States sitting, and knowing just how understandable fussy the Bailiff can be on dress, just how long they would last inside the House.

On the other hand, the JDA could dance its way around the Island recruiting new members and votes. My contact ‘up north’, the one I usually bounce my ideas off, suggested that if they showed their faces near his place their extinction, too, would be one step closer.

Not a universal acceptance of my latest blockbuster idea to revitalise Island politics so far, but slightly less hazardous than setting light to a container load of rockets and closing the door, wouldn’t you say?

La Rougette,

Grande Route de la Côte,

St Clement.

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