Take, for example, Peter Crouch, whose robotic dance routine was one of the most entertaining ways to celebrate, threatening no-one and showing that he has a quirky and self-deprecating sense of humour.
Then there is the Emmanuel Adebayor way of celebrating when, having scored a goal for Man City against former team Arsenal, he races the full length of the field to goad the Gunners’ fans in as provocative way as possible. Egotistical?
Well, yes, because to incite possible violence shows no thought for his team, the safety of the stewards and marshals (paid a fraction of the wages he earns) and as empty-headed a gesture as making a two-fingered salute to the SAS.
Finally, there is the Richard Dunne way. On Monday evening, playing for Aston Villa against Manchester City, a club he never wanted to leave after nine happy years there, he scarcely celebrated his goal and instead trotted back to the half-way line as if it meant no more to him than a half-decent header during a kick-around in the park.
The Man City fans, recognizing Dunne’s selfless desire not to make a scene – which he could have done as he never wanted to leave – applauded his dignity.
And to my mind that is the way that any goal, try, basket or similar score ought to be celebrated; with humility, not with absurd, OTT antics which, at the highest level, will be seen on television by millions of viewers and their sons and daughters who in turn will be encouraged to think that playing to the crowd is no more than a bit of fun.
As a youngster at school we were taught that it was unmanly to show too much emotion if you scored a goal or a try – but then we had no real crowds to perform to.
Even as a man, if I ever scored a try I’d be content with a handshake or having my hair ruffled (well, I did have hair in those days) although I must admit that there was one rugby team I HATED playing against because of one player in their side who, if he scored, would immediately turn around and mime an obscenity, aimed provocatively in our direction.
His team-mates hated that gesture as much as we did because they knew that, for the next ten or 15 minutes, all hell was likely to break out, with so many off-the ball incidents I’m surprised the pitch wasn’t drenched red with blood.
So no, I don’t applaud the modern game’s theatricalities and wish the FA would ban them all. Failing that, let’s invent a new game, when we can invite the panel of Strictly Come Dancing to mark goal-scoring celebrations in front of a studio audience (no goals of course) well away from 50,000 howling fans packed into a stadium on a Saturday afternoon.
Before moving away from football, I wonder how many ordinary, hard-working supporters would invest two or three times their life’s earnings on a two-minute fuzzy camera shot they’d seen on YouTube? Me neither.
Newcastle United would though, spending millions to buy Ignacio Gonzalez, on the advice of that shrewd, proven investments manager, Dennis Wise.
I’m glad Kevin Keegan got his £2m although if I had been on the Premier league’s arbitration tribunal I’d have been tempted to have given not just the money but the football club as well.
• Read more of Chris Lake’s comment in today’s Jersey Evening Post
